You  Must  Have  Your  Own  Experience ~ Robert Adams

You Must Have Your Own Experience

August 3rd, 1990

I welcome you with all my heart.

This body does not presume that it has anything new to teach you. I will refer to this body as I, to make it short. I have nothing new to tell you. I am not a philosopher. I am not a preacher. I am not worthy. I simply have a confession. I confess to you, your own reality. It is not a teaching it’s a confession. I am speaking to my Self confessing and you are my Self.

You are sat-­chit-­ananda knowledge, existence and bliss. You are not the body or the mind. What you appear to be is not the truth, it may be a fact but it is not the truth. A fact is something that appears to be true but it changes.

You cannot be who you think you are for when you were a baby, you were quite different. And when you were a little boy or a little girl you were also different. And the way you are now is completely different than you were before.

Consequently how can you be the body? What are you? Who are you? Sat-­chit-­ananda? What’s that?

Even if I tell you this, it means absolutely nothing. You must have your own experience. You mustn’t believe a word I say. Why should you believe me? What do I know? I am simply confessing to you that there is only para-­brahman, consciousness, bliss, being, awareness, pure intelligence. This has been my experience. There is nothing else.

Everything else is an experience of the mind, an appearance, like hypnosis. The world seems real, so does a dream.

What is this world? It’s as if you just woke up from your dream and you still remember the dream. In the dream you were going places, getting married, having children, getting older then you wake up and you halfway remember the dream and halfway remember the world in which you wake up. So which one is real, the world or the dream? It has been my experience that they’re both alike. There is no real difference. You attach yourself to this world, in the same way you attach yourself in your dream.

If you were dreaming and you dreamt you were falling off a mountain and I was falling beside you. And I said to you, «Don’t worry, nothing can happen to you, you’re dreaming,» you wouldn’t believe me, you would be filled with fear and you would say, «Can’t you see we’re falling, can’t you see what’s happening, how can you tell me I’m dreaming?» Just before you hit the ground you wake up, and you laugh, «It was all a dream.»

In the same way you have attached yourself to sickness, to health, to good, to bad, to happiness, to unhappiness, these are all concepts. You’ve attached yourself to person place or thing. You have forgotten that this is a dream. You believe its real and because you believe its real you suffer accordingly. When you leave your body you will have to come back again and again and again, all part of the dream, until you become detached.

How do you do that? By simply observing what’s going on around you and not attaching yourself to it. By being awake to your reality. Understanding yourself that you are not the doer. Everything that you do has been preordained. It will be done. You have to let go mentally of all conditioning, of all objectivity. And you must still your mind. Make your mind placid, like a motionless lake.

Then reality comes of its own accord. Happiness comes of its own accord. Peace comes of it own accord. Love comes of its own accord. Freedom comes of its own accord. These things are synonymous. They happen without you ever thinking about them. But first you must get rid of the notion, that I am the body, or mind, or the doer and then everything will happen by itself.

Be still And know that I am God.

There was once a girl who was born into a house of prostitution. And across the street in front of the market place there was a preacher, a holy man. He used to exclaim the virtues of God and talk about the house of prostitution. How it was filled with sinners and he told people to repent.

Yet the girl who grew up in the house of prostitution was twenty-­ three years old. She used to look out the window everyday and cry to herself and she would say, «How I wish I was like that Holy man, how I wish I was spiritual,» and she would imagine in her mind that she was a holy person and yet go on with her work.

Now they both got old and died and went to St. Peter to go into heaven. St. Peter told the man, «You can’t come in you’ve got to go to hell,» and he told the girl, «you can come in.» So the Holy man became dumbfounded and said, «Why? For all these years I’ve proclaimed your goodness and your virtues. I told people to repent. How can you let her in when she was a prostitute and leave me out?»

And St Peter said, «You’ve been a hypocrite. You were very worthy and talked a lot and said nothing. In your heart you thought every body was a sinner but you. Whereas the girl in her imagination, in her feelings, always was thinking of God. So she can come in, you can’t.»

The point is this: It’s not what you say. It’s not what you proclaim. It’s what’s deep, deep, deep in your heart that determines what happens to you. It’s not reading books, it’s not studying, it’s not going to classes. It’s sitting by yourself, becoming quiet, going deeper and deeper within yourself. Transcending your mind and your body until something happens.

When thoughts come to you, you simply ask yourself, «To whom do these thoughts come? From whence cometh these thoughts,» follow the thoughts to their source. Find out the source of your thoughts. You will find that the source of your thoughts is I. Follow the I thread to its source by asking, «Who am I?» or «What is the source of I? Where did this I come from?»

You will realize that the pronoun I, is the first word that was ever spoken and everything else is attached to I. Every other word. Every other thought, every other feeling, every other emotion, they’re all attached to the I. I feel happy. I feel sad. I feel sick. I feel well. I feel poor, I feel rich. Everything is attached to I. If the I becomes dissolved, so does everything else and you become free.

Find out for whom there is an I and you will discover something amazing. You will discover that I never existed. There never was an I will discover that you never existed. There’s no such thing as you. You will discover that you are the imperishable Self. That you are never born and you can never die. You will discover that you’re omnipresence, omniscient, omnipotent. That there are no others. There is no world. There is no universe. There is no God. There is only the Self. All this is the Self. All that you behold is the Self and «I-­am» is that. This will give you a feeling of freedom, of bliss, of happiness. You will not lose your awareness.

When I speak these things people believe that they become completely annihilated and there’s nothing left. They melt into the great ocean of nirvana. This is not necessarily true. You will always be awareness. You will always be pure intelligence for that is your real nature. You will always be blissful. Except you will understand that you are not who you appear to be.

Your body will still appear to be doing things, going through its motions. You will appear to be an ordinary person but you will know. You have lifted yourself up above the gross world into the heavenly world of pure consciousness and you will be at peace.

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